IT'S OKAY TO BE SINGLE

11:18 am - I am now lying on my bed, with a runny nose, a ply of tissue, and crumpled tissue papers beside me. Sick but doesn't want to be idle. So, here's an entry from my sick self. My thoughts on why I prefer to stay single until I meet the right one.

Actually, as of the moment, there's really no one courting, haha! But, the point that it's 2018, you can make your moves, girl. Some will ask me, why don't you have a boyfriend? You are this ideal girl naman. Do you have a crush? I will say yes, but I don't have the intention to make some moves. Call me old school. I really am! For I believe, you should be a woman of principle. Thus, I stand that not having a boyfriend makes you less as a woman. Being a strong independent woman is recently what I live up to.

I realized I am not ready enough for a commitment. I have a lot of things piled up, and committing into a relationship isn't a part of it. Although, they say, it's a matter of balancing. Well, let's say, I really can, but I don't want to treat "my boyfriend" (if I have one), as an option. Who deserves to be an option? No one!

With being single, I am able to know more of myself. I committed myself to leading school organizations, in my acads, and serving people, my family, and the Lord. I enjoy managing myself. I own my time. I can do whatever I want. I stay late with my friends. Sometimes, I eat with them. Sometimes, I eat alone. 

As what I have read in one of my college handout's "some relationships don't work, because both of you are still finding who you are."

This has always remained in my heart and mind. That's why I give too much time and effort in my self-growth. I don't want to be broken or lost enough for someone. I don't want to be saying sorry for who I am to someone. I don't want someone to adjust for me because I am still fixing myself. I want me to fix me. 

Let's say, you are from a break-up.  If you're still on the process of finding yourself again, don't pressure yourself of finding someone. Who cares if your ex has someone new? Calm yourself. You are not in the race to find the next person.

Sometimes, you don't really need to find someone to fix you. You just need yourself and some time. Because at the end, you might end just hurting one another. If you're broken, better yet not to love. Love when you're complete and fine. Because if you love when you're sad, that might be not sure. It might just be a feeling of longing to complete a piece in your self. Complete yourself first until you find someone complete enough too. Doesn't really mean, accomplished. But, more like, you both are sure of yourselves already.

I am really not ready to become anyone's girlfriend yet. I am not ready for someone to own me.  And that's okay. It's really okay. Who cares if I'm 19 and not wanting a relationship? Who cares if you're 22 and NBSB? Who cares if you're 25 and still finding the one? Who cares if I'm being too old school?

Note to women, your worth is more precious than jewels (Proverbs 3:15) Don't give in to someone because you're afraid he will go. Or don't give in to someone because you're pressured. If you're not ready, then say no. It's better to stay single than be with the wrong one. Make wise decisions because again, YOU ARE MORE PRECIOUS THAN JEWELS.

Your worth is found in God. You are a princess because you are the King's Daughter!

Set standards. It's fine! Reserve yourself because you deserve it! Be a woman of wisdom, of truth, of strength, of dignity, and of virtue. You deserve someone who will treasure your worth as much as God does. You wouldn't want to allow yourself, a King's daughter, to be treated lowly, right?

And finding the right one doesn't always mean having to try the trial and error method. You don't need to have lots of boyfriends to know who's the one. You just have to wait in His time. (Eclessiastes 3:1)

If you're single and reading this, let's say this together "This, as I wait, I promise to commit myself to the Lord that He may lead me to the person who He has made for me." 

Do what makes you grow. Paint. Serve others. Take photos. Hang out with friends. Travel. Write. Chill. Whatever. Self-love matters. It's essential to love yourself that you may truly know what you want and it will really help you to find the person for you. Don't forget that God loved you first, so in the waiting, don't forget to invest a lot of your time in prayer.

Disclaimer: I am not saying that if you're in a relationship, then you wouldn't grow as an individual. You will, as a person and as partners. However, I am one of those people who is more into self-love first until I meet the one. To all the people who found their love at their young age, then cheers! Yet, to all those who are still waiting, remember, it's okay to be single, and that everyone has their own pace. You are not alone, I'm here too :) 

radiating sunshine,

Hannah Borja