The LPT in transit (no more)

Waiting with grace.

Waiting with patience.
Waiting with hope.

After a hiatus of 6 months, guess who is back!

What a season of waiting it has been. 4 months of reviewing. Almost 2 months of waiting. And aaah! Such a Good God we have- I was able to finish the race with His victory. That's why; I want to share this joy with you because spending 4 months in reviewing alone made me realize so much.

First, life is a season after season.

A race that goes on, in which every season only ends to prepare you for the next season. All the things I've learned in college were encapsulated in 4 months. Like, I got to finish a book in a day that took me semester to finish before. It’s not hanggang college lang, there will always be a next step. Whatever might that next step be...all I know is, every step is preparing us for the bigger step. So, it never really ends.

Second, the struggles are not an exemption. I had to battle with self-motivation. 

Swear, DOUBT was my top on my fears list. Hearing whispers from the enemy-such as you cannot do it. Times when I unconsciously stare at a blank space and thinking if I could really do it. Remind yourself that you are the main person who can bring yourself up. But you, yourself, can also be the same person who’ll bring yourself down. That's why; I do honor the self supporting people, and to those who were working while reviewing. Aaahh salute to you. 

Doubts may have haunted me but the remedy was always choosing positivity. Believing that the God who began a good work in me will finish it. The best cheerleader you could ever have is you alone. Fight on, Fighter!

Third, support system matters.

I am grateful for my family, my batch mates, our college department, the review center (Both In-House and Carl Balita Review Center), lecturers especially Sir Jestoni Potot of Harvest Review Center, and all God given angels. I am forever thankful for this bunch. A new set of friends encountered in this recent journey. 

I am more amazed at times when strangers believed in me at times when I couldn’t. This one time, when my angkas driver wished me luck. He told me he was retiree at PRC and out of the blue, that small encounter lifted me up. Indeed, if others believe in you, then why won’t you? We will never know how long can our little words of encouragement may go.

Fourth, I have learned to aim for my really best without pressuring myself so much.

I’ve learned to endure such waiting with grace. I desired of being a topnotcher, but did I become one? No. Am I sad? No. Am I mad at myself? No, but I somehow fondly make a joke that I am a topnotcher that never made it to the list. We are all topnotchers in our own ways, especially if we did all that we could. My ultimate goal was to look back at the board exam WITHOUT any regrets and thoughts hoping I did better. To every board exam taker, I hope your goal goes the same. 

Ditching the weekend for review sessions was one of the things I've sacrificed for a while. What is a sacrifice of months compared to the lifelong outcome? Most of all, I’ve learned that we shouldn’t belittle ourselves and we do not ever settle for less. You want to aim for the top? Then try your best.

Always better saying “oops, at least I’ve tried” than “what if I tried” In the end, God doesn’t require us to succeed so much, but He needs us to try (St. Teresa of Avila). 

Fifth, I realized that we are never ever really a 100% ready for the board exam.

Even as we had a long review, the final test still came as a surprise. But, I thank the review centers for training us to think critically and preparing us for the big day. During the board exam, I really had no idea how to ace it due to its difficulty, but still, I was able to finish it with confidence that it was the Lord who did the rest.

Later on, I came to see this tweet after. Such a good reminder at times when we already do not know how to fight, but we still end up ending it with glory because of God. Aaah! TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY, TRULY.

Lastly, is to serve while waiting. 

To whatever waiting season you may have, enjoy the process and do things that will make the wait worthwhile. Our God is a God who fulfills his promises. God grants our desires, either now or later; or either “not that, but here’s a better answer for you”. All throughout this season, my prayer was that God will help me wait in joy and hope. 

As I have already finished the board exam season, here’s to the next season to come-as a missionary who will hustle between the bustle of adulthood.

To those who didn’t make it yet, never give up. 

The truth is we are capable because our God is capable. All glory is His, never mine, never ours. God wants you to believe in yourself, because in this way, you are also showing that you are trusting Him. Whatever season of waiting you are in now, God's gonna reap your harvest just in time.

Ending this post through sharing my waiting season playlist. This might be of help!

1. Seasons- Hillsong Worship

2. Unfinished- Mandisa

3. Fear is a Liar- Zach Williams

4. Giants Fall-Francesca Battistelli

5. Desert Song- Hillsong Worship

6. Grace to Grace- Hillsong Worship

7. Good Grace- Hillsong United

8. Even When It Hurts- Hillsong United

9. Highlands (Song of Ascent)- Hillsong United

Radiating Sunshine,

Hannah Borja