Dear Fresh Grad na Feeling Lost

I'm done with college, so, what's next?

The next chapter is a scary thing, but an exciting one.

Just a brief story. Months before  graduation, I was so sure of my plans. I planned to get a job, earn money, travel and so much more.

I imagined myself embarking in a successful career at an early age.  That's how I  pictured it out, and ahhh!  It was a good picture: single me, enjoying my salary, sharing some of it to my family.  Yet, all these desires suddenly fell off the bridge when graduation was totally around the corner.

I had a breakdown. I asked Him:

"Lord, why do I feel lost, all of a sudden?"

You know what made it hard for me to decide and choose not to work?

I was anxious.  Where will I get money for my needs and wants? Will I still get to enjoy the same lifestyle I used to have? Most especially, I was afraid of getting left behind. Have you felt that? I was thinking that people would look down on me because I'm unemployed and that, I'll be steps behind my batch mates.

I felt pressured, but God is always good.  

From the rest I've gotten in a span of 2 months, I've realized a lot! And, I'd like to share it to youuuu.

1. Your number 1 encounter would be "Uy where ka mag work?" or "Ga work na ka?" 

Swear, it swayed me every.single.time when someone asked me this. I just didn't know how to respond, but heeyyy, as time passed by, I finally got used to this question. Masasanay ka rin. So, just simply answer, "Wala pa." or "Not yet." Then, cut it. Only explain to those people dear to you. 

2. You'll see your batch mates getting ahead of you, and that's okay.

You may have in mind "Better for them, they have a job already, how about me?" Oh come on. Stop dragging yourself down! Darling, I would like you to bear this in your mind, SUCCESS IS NOT ABOUT WHO GETS TO A DESTINATION FIRST.  Doesn't mean he or she is one step ahead, then you're totally behind. Come on, we all have our own pace! 

So what now if you're not hired, just yet? Enjoy the time you have for yourself, for the meantime, because once you enter the working world, rest is something you'll even have to work for. So, while you're at rest, make the most out of it. Choose to grow! Do things you wished you've done before. 

3. There is no shame in "not" finding a job, yet.

Let the people talk. Let them say whatever they want to say about you, but always remember, your worth is not found in people's eyes. Basta, learn to be strong and stand firm on what your heart believes.  The signal is, if your family is okay with your decision, then there's nothing much to worry about. 

Kani ha, being unemployed doesn't make God see you less. Your worth doesn't change in God. You're still God's precious child, and He has so much in store for you. 

4. If you're really lost, then it's never late to start again.
Example situation: Let's say, you've finished this degree, but you don't feel like you're really called to do it. 

This is confusing. Yet, it's not never late to really start doing what you truly love. I believe, God will not put your previous experiences into waste. I know, whatever we've been doing is God's way to prepare us for the future.

5. Silence is God's best language.

Try to think of it, maybe, all this time, it's silence and rest that you truly need. We hear Him more in silence.  Take a pause. Redirect yourself. Talk to yourself. Talk to God. 

Take time to be in silence for days, weeks, months or a year. There's nothing wrong in resting. You deserve it. You've been striving to survive for years, and a little rest won't hurt you.  

 I cried this all out one morning during the Sisters' Summer Household of CYA and I heard the Lord's message:

[My plans are not your plans. Trust me. I've got bigger plans for you.]

And so to you, who's feeling the same way, remember:

1. Don't be fed up with the world. It's toxic. 

After all, the people have nothing to do with your decision. Only you, yourself, know your own capability. It falls into this point: They are not you, and they will never be you.  Ask God what He wants you to do. Pray more, especially if you've missed doing this in your university life.

3. Jeremiah 29:11, cling on to this!

[For I know the plans I have for you. plans to save you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and to give you hope.]

Ending this with one of Taylor Swift's lines when she gave a message during her concert - "Doesn't mean you're not there yet, then you're not going anywhere."

It might take us a while, but we'll get there! 

God will lead us there. 

Never lose hope. 

Never stop trying. 

Radiating Sunshine,

Hannah Borja